Today I Cried
I am not writing this post for sympathy….to get offers of help or a hug. I am writing this post to show people that yes even I who seems all perky and crazy have poo days.
Today I saw on Facebook a video of a lady who gave birth in the car on way to the hospital to a 10 pound baby…yes she screamed but she just basically popped the bugger out into her pants.
I cried…because I never got to do that. I had my guts sliced open and I still deep down cry for missing out on the opportunity to birth naturally.
I then cried as I remembered how much I couldn’t cope with the horrific back pain of the induction. How do other ladies do it?? I remember the midwife telling me not to stress that my particular labour was very fast and too strong too quickly so there was no time to build my tolerance up to the pain PLUS I was running on no sleep from 3 days and fasting for surgery. My fuel tank was empty – but I should have still been able to do it. I cried.
I cried because I cried – seriously Donna, its been 3 weeks…time to put your big panties on.
Today I cried because I didn’t get half done of what I wanted to get done. I cried just out of frustration…… My outstanding list gets moved to tomorrow I guess.
Today I cried because I am so tired. My brother told me he was tired today and I laughed a deep evil sinister laugh.
“You’re Tired? Bwahahahhahahah”
I explained to him that unlike he who may wake up in the middle of the night and then roll over and go back to sleep, I have to get up and wipe poop and flop a boob out, settle THEN try and go back to sleep.
I get these mixed responses to my tiredness…sometimes I laugh and just shrug my shoulders and keep working on, sometimes I groan and cry. Like I have split personalities.
Today I cried because even though in Melbourne at the moment the nights are around zero degrees celsius – I am sweating like crazy and now have a giant pimple in my cleavage. Boob pimples are icky.
Today I cried because my loveable poochy Ninja is driving me bonkers. I swear to god it must be akin to having a toddler. After having Pickles at home for a few weeks (and who is now back at work) he is playing up. He is noisy. He is not listening to me. My favourite doggy is doing my head in. He made me cry.
I am sure there are other reasons I cried today – I can’t remember I am too tired.
Thank god Pickles picked up on my subtle sms during the day of my waning patience and has been a saint since he got home.
P.S – For any clients reading, things are all good. It’s just my turn to whinge!
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